life doesn't always work out the way you want it. when i was a teenager, having fun, hanging out with friends, admiring boys from afar but way to scared to actually talk to them, i always thought that when i got "older" i would just get married and start a family. i didn't date a whole lot in high school, but everyone said that college would be different. yeah.....not so much. although i did start my long list of "boys i've kissed" in college, i didn't "date" much there either. and yet i would still convince myself that one day it would all change. now here i am. i'm "angie bates 31 and still single" (did anyone get the reference to scott baio's new reality show there? i'm a tv dork...). it's cool most of the time. i have a few friends that are older and still rockin the singleton status. and we have our fun going on trips and staying up until all ridiculous hours of the night. i can take two-three hour naps and not feel guilty that i am neglecting a husband or children, and i can sit in front of the tv and watch an asinine amount of tv while texting multiple friends. but every so often i think...man it would be nice to have someone. this weekend was one of those times.
i attended two wedding receptions this weekend (a task i dread) and with each one i kept thinking, will this ever happen for me. usually people respond with the "yes it will", but that gives no comfort because nothing is for sure, and there is no guarantee. usually after attending a wedding or reception, and after my thoughts have wandered to the amazing party that i would throw if it was my celebration, i quickly jump back into reality and realize all the amazing things i have done and can do in my life, things that i wouldn't have been able to do if i was married or had children.
but this weekend was different.
something in my life has changed.
my two "buffer" cousins, justin and alysha abandoned me in the singles world and left me exposed to questions from others "when will you get married" or "are you dating anybody", and thoughts of my own. until now, these questions have been foreign to me and usually reserved for justin who is 3 years my senior, or alysha who is younger, skinnier, more adorable, and actually goes on dates. i, on the other hand, was able to lay low, safe from ridicule and persecution, using my wit and my weight to hide behind my two "buffers". well that has ended.... justin is now married, with alysha soon to follow. and with my cousin isaac (almost ten years my junior) now engaged it seems that i am left alone with only my thoughts. no more distractions of "well atleast justin is still single" or "if alysha isn't married then how could i expect to be"...nope all i have now are my thoughts.
2 comments:
I have to say Angie there are 2 ends of the spectrum. On the one hand there's me who is on her second marriage, more relationships then you can count and a child I gave up for adoption as a result of a relationship gone horribly awry.
Then there's you who has not been in too many if any serious relationships and have not had too much devastation as a result.
So who is better off?
You'll have your relationship and marriage soon.... and all the crap that comes with it. Honestly I think you have to stop looking. Stop any form of trying and it will just happen. THEN you'll be sorry!
uh...I don't know what to say after that comment. Debbie Downer??? Anyways...I am so glad you got a blog. I got goosebumps when I read it. You are a great story teller.
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