It really was something that I needed.
I always feel like blogging during that "particular time of the month" is much like somebody drunk dialing a whole group of people at once. The message is often emotional, non sensical, and often leaves you confused and feeling slightly awkward...but I'm going to do it anyway.
I have decided to move.
Well, actually I have been thinking about moving since I got back here 9 years ago, but the desire has only increased in the last couple of years.
And now, it's like I can't bare to live here one more day. Every day I want to pack up and just leave. Every day I cry. Every day, I wonder how my life got to this point.
I feel like I am stuck, and I just need to finally make a decision and get out. Take a leap and hope that it works out. I know, that with a child, I can't afford to fail...but I have to trust that I am smart enough to figure out how to make this work. I have to make this work.
I feel like my world is closing in around me, and I get so anxious and stressed out that I can hardly breathe. I sit up at night, trying to figure out what I need to do to make a better, happier life for me and for Q. I feel like I have just been going through the motions. get up. go to work. feed Q. play. sleep. and that I haven't truly been living a life. I want to be happy, i need to be happy, I want my family to be happy.
I understand that I have some good things here, but I don't think I will ever truly be content living here and I need to go and find a life. Moses lake is a great place but it just doesn't have what I need, and if I am honest with myself...Moses Lake has never really felt like home. I originally came back here, to work and save money for a new stage in life, and instead just never left. Moses Lake became "comfortable", but it's time for me get out there and find something, some place, some job, some life that I love.
-I need to find a career that I can stand to do for the next 30+ years. Cause let's face it, I will most likely be a working woman.
-I need to be in a bigger city. Small town living just isn't for me. I had an emotional breakdown yesterday after I discovered that no place in town how any sandals for Q. I need to live somewhere, where I can find shoes for my child!
-I need to live somewhere, that offers more of a social life, or dating scene for me. I understand that it may be that I am meant to be single, but I at least want to have the opportunity to see what's out there, and maybe have some options of guys. There is nothing in Moses Lake.
-I want Q to have every opportunity for a great education, fun activities, and tons of friends.
-I need to get out of this bubble, and get a life.
So anyway.
By February 2011 I will move. To Utah. Anywhere between Provo and Salt Lake.
I am hoping to move sooner...so finding a job, and an affordable place to live is a top priority!
I am going down to Utah next week, to hang out, see friends and family, and start my search.
Any advice, help, ideas, or opportunities that you guys can provide are completely welcome.
12 comments:
You did make me laugh when you said it was like "drunk dialing a whole group of people at once"!! I love it. Sometimes you just need to get it out there.
I totally get where you are coming from. Obviously...we've talked about it. A change will be good. I know it! Now, we've just got to figure out how to make it all work.
i am SOOO excited for you!!! It's fun to be in a place, just for you and your family... and not because anyone else wants you to be there.
That is really really awesome!
You are doing such a fantastic job with your daughter. I really think she is at the perfect age to move or readjust to new life situations and I don't doubt for a second your ability to make it work.
Good luck!
You can do it! It's always scary but I think this is a perfect time to do so. Yay for you! Dai
Oh and I forgot to tell you that I really like your hair in these pictures. Very flattering! Dai
LOL at "drunk dialing".
A move is a great step, but heeeey wait... not cool that you and Cookie are further away from us. I really, really think that this will work out great for you.
We are here between SL and Provo! If you need to stay anywhere or just get some tips, let me know! I have in-laws in Draper, and they really like where they live. What sort of job are you looking for? Good luck! I am always a fan of change!
While I'm sad that moving means that you and Cookie will be far away from us, I KNOW it will be such a great new chapter in both of your lives. I so admire you Angie. You are a strong, resourceful, independent person and deserve happiness! It's gonna be great!!!
Kacey wrote everything I was going to say!
Angie, I think it's a great idea. You've got to go with your gut, and you've been wanting to get out of Moses Lake for a long time now. You can do it! You are strong! I can't wait to see how it all works out.
Thank goodness you have a blog so that when you find your spot you can still keep us in the loop. I hope you find a place where you both thrive. I'm like everyone else that commented, I have no doubt in your ability to succeed. Best wishes in your hunt.
Angie - I think it's awesome. Good for you. Best of luck to you girl.
If I can help in any way...
Yes, a place to find shoes is a must! I'm sure it seems overwhelming but I know you can do this too. You are amazing, don't forget it!
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