Monday, August 15, 2011

If you leave me now, you'll take away the biggest part of me

So we have a little situation here, so I thought I would take it to the streets and see what you think.

Q has always been a big binky fan. Which has been nice. At around 1.5 years I was able to ween her down to only using the binky when she napped or at night. It worked rather successfully. When she would wake, she would hand over the binky, and not another word was said. 

Now, since our move, we have gone in serious reverse, and she wants the thing ALL THE TIME! and has thrown some major tantrums as a result of me saying "no".  I plan to take away the binky at age 3 (next month), but I don't know what to do in the meantime.  I cannot stand it when she talks with the binky in (a.it's hard to understand her and b.I have a fear it will affect her speech), so I try and make her take it out when she is talking...but that only works about 50% of the time.

So here is the dilemma....

Do I quit fighting her, and just let her have it whenever she wants and then take it away next month?

Do I keep my stance on "when sleeping only" for the next bit, and take it away completely at 3?

Do I just take it away completely now, and deal with the tantrums (since I am getting them anyway)?

Any advice or thoughts are greatly appreciated!

10 comments:

::lindsay said...

If it were me, I'd just wait until next month when she turns 3 and let her have it when she wants. I sometimes think it's harder with the "when sleeping only rule" because she does still get to use it some of the time. So she knows that her binky is still able to be used but she can't have it. Then it becomes a war of the wills. Also, kinda like with anything we love or are addicted to, it can be easier to stop cold turkey, when you know that it is completely NO LONGER an option, period.

In addition, we are going to Disneyland for a very long trip. She's gonna be tired and that binky could be handy.

Also, if you tie the "losing the binky" thing with her birthday, you can talk up the whole "Now you are a big girl, when you are 3, no more binkys." It's like a whole rite of passage thing.

But FYI, the first day when you finally take it away can sometimes not be fun at all. Kaiya threw the mother of all temper tantrums that first day.

Anyways, it's just my opinion...you certainly don't have to take it. :)

Kacey Nielsen said...

With Scarlet (pacifier) and Rhode (thumb sucker) we have made it their "big kid" thing to give it up. Every time Rhode starts sucking his thumb, I remind him that babies suck their thumbs but big boys don't suck their thumbs and get bikes for their birthdays. It has been pretty effective. It might work to give her the option 1-have your binky or 2 - earn this "big girl" present on your birthday. The paci fairy is a fun one too. Then, you aren't the one who took it away, the fairy did.

Kimmy said...

I like the wait until she's 3 thing. Good point, Linds, about the trip. It could come in very handy.

melanie said...

I'm opposite of Lindsay. I'd take it away now so that she'd be good and over it before the Dland trip. And if you're fighting tantrums already, you know what's ahead. She's just throwing fits because she knows it's a fall back and she knows it ticks you off.

Nathan was binki obsessed too, I swear it worked like a drug with him. Calmed him down right away. I wont lie, I over used it too. He loved Nemo and so we flushed them down the toilet because 'all drains lead to the ocean' and he was giving it to a baby fish. I think the visual helped him because while he threw a couple tantrums at night, he knew we couldn't get them back.

One last thing, if you decide to do this DO NOT go back no matter how hard it is. It's usually only for a few days and then it's done. It might feel like 'it changed her' but it's all part of the growing up. She'll change anyway.

Good Luck!

Piper said...

She may surprise you, just like with potty training! Cannon was a big binky fan. When he would talk with it in, I would make him take it out because I "couldn't" understand him. He started biting holes in them, and I told them they didn't sell binkies for big boys. He was about 3 as well. He was down to one binky, and he decided to chuck it. No big whoop. i figure the bigger deal we make about things, the more they sense it, and make things rough for the momma! I'm sure it will be fine. I wouldn't worry until she's off to her first day of Kindergarten with a binky. ;) Love you Ang!

Alissa Maxwell said...

You're going to have to fight the fight at some point, so I say bite the bullet and get it over with. (Unless Disney is within the next two weeks.) You just accept that it's going to suck (haha!) for the first few days but will be worth it in the end. You've gotta find a way to motivate Q to give them up - Binky Fairy, Sending them to a New Baby that's just been born, flushing ala Nemo, etc. Talk it up for a few days and then just do it.

If you decide to wait, one of my friends had good success with "only in your room" limits - as opposed to "only for sleeping." Her daughter would occasionally run to her room to get her binky fix, but at least then you don't have to see it! =)

Jill said...

I have no idea, Tessa is my first baby that even will take a binky, so I am interested to see the outcome. If she is already throwing tantrums about it, I would probably just get rid of it cold turkey. But if you are worried about Disney, you could wait until after the trip.

Colleen said...

I think it's either A or C. If she's going to lose it totally in a month it's better to just stop fighting the sleeping-only rule, it's only a month really. OR you could just go cold turkey now, it's going to suck a bit! Good luck! We will face that binky battle next year. NO FUN.

auntiescary said...

I remember you kids got to throw yours out the window of a moving car when you let go of yours for the last time. I think is was on or near your birthdays. I like the make it special, a rite of passage thing. And yep - you might really want her to have it at Disneyland.

Ashley said...

I say throw them all away now and deal with the tantrums for a few days! You won't be able to give in because you won't have any binki's around. That's what I did with Sayda. She threw a fit for a few days, but then when she realized that I wasn't giving in... she was over it. Like someone else said... you'll have to deal with the tantrums sooner or later, so I'd just get it over with sooner rather than later :) Whatever you decide to do... GOOD LUCK!