Wednesday, October 29, 2008

I'm so excited and I just can't hide it...

We made it!! My little baby is ONE MONTH old and I just can't believe it.

(this is a little outfit that Rhonda gave her)

(this is her working her cute jeans and flower)

(this is her permanent look when we are having mommy baby time)
To be honest there were times when I didn't know if I could do this. Then my mom died, and i really didn't think i would be able to handle being a mom without a mom of my own. But I convinced myself that I could do it. Then kimmie told me she was moving and the fear came back again. Each day I go through little ups and downs wondering how this is all going to work out, but I'm happy and proud to say that Qiana and I are doing great so far. I'm still getting the hang of things, and just when i think I have her routine down she switches it up on me, but you gotta love her. Right now our world consists mostly of her eating, sleeping, and staring at each other. We do have nap time every afternoon where i put on the Soft hits or love songs station on the tv and we take a little nap together. We also try and have a little dance time...she has to have rhythm and I'm hoping this will ensure that. Since most of my time is spent just looking at her I decided to dedicate this blog to the:


5. Feeding Qiana is quite funny sometimes, since the girl can't seem to sit still for long, and is constantly putting her hands to her face or trying to hold the bottle. The ultimate position for her is holding the bottle with one hand and my finger with the other. She loves holding my hands, unfortunately i can't get a picture of this cause I only have two hands and they are both occupied.

4. her curly hair.

When it's wet you can totally see the major waves that her hair has, and I think when it gets longer you will be able to see it better. Unfortunatly since it's so short once she lays on it or moves around it flattens out. But seriously, all I have to do it get it a little bit wet and it curls right up.

3. Her uncle Tom chin.

I don't have a chin, and i am so jealous that not only does she have a pronounced chin, but that it's a total butt chin like my uncle tom. I think it's the cutest thing ever.

2. Her amazing eyelashes.

Although my eyelashes are very blonde at the ends, I have always been quite proud of their length and i'm so happy that Qiana got them as well. This girl will not have to use mascara.

1. Her lips.

When people see Qiana they say that she has my eyes and my lips, and I am so happy about that. I just love her lips. Her perfect, pink, plump lips. I stare at them all the time, and just can't help but kiss them.

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

do you remember the time...

So now that my life consists of being a mom to a newborn and all the good and bad that that entals, I've had a lot of time to think about life and stuff that I have done. There is probably an equal number of things that i miss about my old life and things that i really am so glad to be done with. But let's focus on the things that i miss. I miss buying tickets to whatever concert or play that I wanted to see, I miss planning quarterly vacations to play around with friends, I miss hanging out with my friends during a late night karaoke session at the local hangout.
My friend Em loves karaoke and we started going for her birthday, I remember even hitting up a karaoke bar as the only patrons in Mexico on our trip 4 years ago...well the love kept us going back for more. We used to go two times a week (wed and thurs) and even though it was a work night we would stay until close at 1:00am listening to horrible singers, or mystifying the patrons with our awesome performances. Now usually the crowd were more country lovers than hip hoppers but I like to think we changed a couple people's minds with our renditions. So in honor of our once permanent past time here are my


10. My friend Josiah (aka J dogg) was always a trooper when he was in town and would totally come hang with us at karaoke. He would also put in a couple numbers as well. usually they were songs or bands that nobody had ever heard of, but one time he thought he would "american pie". Now for you karaoke beginners here is a little lesson: MAKE SURE YOU KNOW HOW LONG A SONG IS BEFORE YOU DECIDE TO SING IT. For those of you who don't know the song "american pie" is a freakin' long song! Now to josiah's credit he did tell the dj that he only wanted to sing a few minutes of it, but he was told that he had to sing it all. 8 minutes into the song we were all wishing that that was day the "music would die" (literally).

9. Sometimes it's not so much the song but the performance that can make or break a singer. Now I can't remember what song my friend Emily decided to sing for this particular occasion (i think it was either britney, PCD, or fergie) but the thing I remember is that She was so desperate to step it up a notch and really get the crowd going that she stepped up on a table (totally forgetting she was not 100 lbs) and almost fell to her death, because the table was totally not sturdy. HILARIOUS! Now to em's credit she didn't stop singing and kept making her way through the crowd...what a professional.

8. Another karaoke tip: MAKE SURE YOU ACTUALLY KNOW ALL THE WORDS TO A SONG. Michelle, em, I had often sung "drop it like its hot" and one night, when em was unable to come, michelle and I decided to give it a go on our own. 2 seconds into the song we realized that Em was the one who knew all the words, and we were more "hype" people who only knew the chorus. EMBARRASSING!

7. I have always considered myself more of a mimick singer than someone who can actually hold a tune. In fact i am pretty amazing at those singing games for playstation cause they totally judge based on the ability to sound like the singers. Now for someone like emily who actually has a voice and like to manipulate it in her own way, those games give her no love. But I digress. There have been a couple amazing performances at karaoke by people who pretty much nailed the song. Kyle Jackson can do an amazing Oasis impersonation for "wonderwall", another guy we nicknamed "michelle's boyfriend" can do an amazing willie nelson for "always on my mind" and a great johnny cash "folsom prison blues", and another guy who is totally nameless rocked our world with his Tone Loc impersonation on "Wild Thing".

6. Emily and I made a trip to Reno in april of 2007 and of course we had to hit up a karaoke problem the only ones our host knew were gay bars...but of course nothing could stand in the way of our music. So we hit up a lesbian bar and did the most amazing version of "Don't cha" that Reno has ever heard. Seriously. There is nothing more amazing than two heterosexual females singing "don't cha wish your girlfriend was hot like me..." in a lesbian bar. needless to say we were a hit!

5. On Thanksgiving 2007 I allowed my mom and brother jared to come with us, and see this karaoke world that we had created. I had no idea that we would bring the house down not once but twice that night. First was me and emily doing our best impersonations of 80's music artists as we sung USA for Africa's "we are the world". We pretty much nailed that. Then my brother jared decided he would get in the game and put in his name for "send me an angel", the 80's synth pop classic. I joined him for the chorus part, but he was the true star that night!

4. Ever since 8 mile came out I have always wanted to be able to perfectly execute a performance of eminem's "lose yourself" and I decided that january of 2008 would be that time. This ended up being one of my last performances, and I'm glad I went out on a high note. I had practiced in my car a couple times, to get the timing and beat right, and went up with a little lack of confidence but high hopes. Em joined me on stage as my entourage and hype girl (all good hip hop artists have them)...and if I do say so myself.....I KICKED THE TRASH OUT OF THAT SONG!

3. My friend Emily has an amazing voice, and especially when we were going two times a week her voice was a well tuned instrument and she used it to perfection in one of my favorite performaces from her. Dreamgirls had just come out, and Beyonce's "listen" was the jam. We told Emily she needed to try it, and after some practice she finally wrote it on the paper and got up on stage. Now somewhere in the world beyonce was shakin' in her boots, cause she knew my friend emily was killin that song (and by killin' i mean she was freakin' amazing). She had the whole bar totally captivated and gave me chills from beginning to end.

2. I love hip hop and no artists are closer to my heart than Dre and Snoop. One night this guy Luke kept trying to convince me to go up and sing "nuthin but a g thang" with him. I was very apprehensive, cause in my mind if you destroy a hip hop song that is cause for a major beating or perhaps drive by shooting, and I didn't know if i could pull off that song. After some pushing from my friends I got up there and hoped for the best. I took the "snoop" section and started it off with 1, 2, 3, and to the 4.... Little did i know that Luke was a total moron and had no idea what the words were, so I was forced to sing the entire song by myself. Not to toot my own horn here but I pretty much dominated that song. I had the swagger, the correct words, and the beats on my side and I was so happy.

1. No karaoke experience could ever compare to the domination and excitement that we gave to the Tropicana in Vegas in June of 2006. My friends and I had gone to vegas for my 30th birthday and of course we had to hit up some karaoke. That was towards the beginning of our karaoke obsession and i hadn't really gotten up the confidence yet, so that night I was just going to sit and watch Emily do her thing...but after an hour or so I decided to give it a try. Emily and i decided to do Salt and pepa's "shoop", and history was made. From what we hear from our friends, the whole crowd was lovin us, and everyone stopped talking and just stared with smiles on their faces at the two white girls rappin "you're packed and you're stacked especially in the back..." Emily and I had the chemistry of veteran performers, and totally fed off each other's energy. At the end of the song, at the peaked of our performance, right before the guy comes in to rap the song cut off...I was thrown off at first but quickly rebounded and decided to finish the song acapella. The whole room was quiet as me and em freestyled the ending then turned off the mic's, smiled, and left the stage. WE'RE SO HOOD! As we left the bar we got some high praise from a group of black people from New York who thought we were pretty dope....of course we were!

Friday, October 24, 2008

Oh a million faces pass my way....

These are just some random pictures I took with my phone. I'm trying to capture the faces she makes with my camera but I think she's on to me and quickly looks away every time. I did managed to get a couple with my phone though.

This is her most common look. I think she's focusing on my face, or maybe she's staring at me thinking "so this is my life huh?"

Here she is sayin' "seriously?"

she does this thing with her lips that makes me laugh all the time. here are a couple pictures. The last one is my favorite because she added the cocked eyebrow...seriously cute right?

Monday, October 20, 2008

don't know much but i know i love you...

well we are here at the office..our first official day (or evening) back at work. I thought it would work out perfect since 5-9 pm is Qiana's prime napping far...not so much. oh well. i am amazing with one hand anyway so we will still get stuff done.

Here is a couple of recent pictures.

i thought for her first day of work she should get a little dressed up so we put on her argyle onesie....cute right?

Thursday, October 16, 2008

girl I'm gonna miss you...

Well Kimmie and the crew have left, and I am in total denial.

I broke down a little bit yesterday, but decided that I probably didn't need that in my life so I'm tryin to be a big girl. But it's tough. For the last 10 months, and especially since my mom died, I have relied so much on my sister and her family for entertainment, love, companionship, and support and to not have them just a few minutes away is gonna be really tough. I'm gonna miss Elsie so much.

She is such a cute girl, who made me laugh so much....

plus she was such a great help with Qiana. She just loved her so much, and I'm sad that they won't have these times together....but I hope in the future that will change.

Sunday, October 12, 2008

movin on up...

so i know i've asked alot of favors lately for help with house stuff and the men in my life have been awesome in complying....well i am asking again. this saturday, the 18th, i have rented a truck and am hoping to move my furniture from my house to my mom's old house. i haven't sold my house yet but still want to get out of there and will probably end up renting it. anyway, i don't have much stuff so it shouldn't take to long but i need some muscle help. moving starts at 9am! thanks.

Thursday, October 9, 2008

isn't she lovely...isn't she wonderful

Just a little update:
I came into the office for a quick adjustment to my back and neck....(that whole pregnancy/birth thing really messed up my body) and thought I would post some pictures while i'm here. Things are going pretty good, actually really good and I'm happy to have little to no complaints so far. She must have known that she needed to be a good baby for her new mom. She sleeps, eats, and stares around at the world. She still has some congestion issues and sometimes finds it hard to eat, which makes me feel so bad for her, but I am trying to get her to eat as much as she can before she freaks out or falls asleep...otherwise she wakes up every hour wanting to eat cause she ain't full...that isn't so awesome. We are having a good time though and she seems to be changing every day. I just love her.

Two of her sleeping options....although she loves just snuggling with mommy the best....and I'll admit it's my favorite too.

Today was her first official bath. She doesn't mind being naked, which is nice, and she did really well.

Monday, October 6, 2008

It's been one week since you looked at me...

I've made it through one week and haven't died yet from exhaustion. So far baby qiana and mommy are doing good. She is eating really well and at a drs appt on friday had already gained 5 ozs. So far, between meals, she is either sleeping soundly or wide awake just quietly staring at the world around her. I'm hopeful this calm baby sticks around. She has had some congestion issues which have made things a little hard for her at times, but she is working through it and being a good girl.

Thursday, October 2, 2008

baby baby i'm taken with the love you with the sweetest of devotions

Well it's that time. To tell about my baby story. Don't worry I will spare you some of the grosser details, cause frankly I'm not an over-sharer, and to be honest I had my eyes closed through most of it cause even I couldn't bare to see too much. Everyone kept saying that my crazy modesty issues would change once I had a baby, but I'm here to say...nope...nope they haven't. I still get way uncomfortable and slightly embarrassed even thinking about how many people have now seen WAY too much of my personal bizness. But anyway. Maybe in the future I will want to look back on this time and be reminded of the some of the details (although I'm pretty sure if I can still remember a dance I made up to Rockin Robin in the 5th grade I will still remember every detail of this little doozy of an experience...with or without the written documentation..but here it goes anyway.
I checked in to the hospital Sunday evening for an induction, since it was now 5 days since my due date, and miserable couldn't even describe my state. Around 7 they inserted some hormonal suppository that was to basically tell the cervix "hey! time to work get to it". I sat in the hospital bed, hooked up to all sorts of machines, watching the amazing race and cold case) kim and emily came to entertain me, and just waited for something to start happening. into the later night around 9 or 10 I started feeling some contractions, which was a good sign but I still wasn't dilating much...which sucked. Around midnight they hit me with another suppository and this one apparently did it's job. all of the sudden the contractions, which until this point just felt like really painful menstrual cramps, turned into full blown stabs of pain that pretty much didn't quit. There came a point where I couldn't even sit still and just walked around my hospital room talking to myself and playing inner games of six degrees of separation...but nothing helped distract from the pain. They had given me a couple doses of pain meds, but they were complete child's play and didn't do much. Around 5am I was finally dilated to a 3 and they moved me into the birthing room and hooked me up with an epidural. Kim was there at this point, which was nice cause I used her hand to squeeze a couple times during the contractions of death until the epidural kicked in. Once that little shot from heaven kicked in I was good to go. We hung out in the birthing room sleeping and watching HGTV until about 10 and my body was finally ready to get this little bundle of joy out. The whole legs in the air, pushing until you can't breathe experience lasted about 37 minutes and Qiana Tamara Bates was born 10:37 am.

Kimmie cut the cord and the nurses and doctor cleaned off Qiana before they even set her near me (we had discussed how grossed out I was about the whole bodily fluids thing). Once they were done weighing her and doing all those medical things, I finally held my little girl!

We had visitors right away, and Qiana was such a good girl.

She loved her bath at the hospital and got her footprints taken.

She had some eating issues the first little bit because she was congestion in her nose and couldn't breathe and eat at the same time. She has since gotten so much better and is eating like a champ. She is a pretty content little girl, and often just sits and stares wide eyed at her surroundings.

The hospital stay was nice, but having people waiting on you gets kind of old when they wake you every few hours for a blood pressure check or what not. And having to watch live tv was pretty much the equivalent to medieval torture, and I was ready to come home. I did get lots of visitors, which was a nice change of pace to the overall boring days.

After leaving the hospital on wednesday, I came to stay with Kim and her crew for a couple of days so Kim could help out during the day. Qiana and I made it through our first night together okay so hopefully that is a good sign of things to come. It's been fun watching Elsie with Qiana. She is so sweet with her, an so fascinated by the baby that is now always around. She is having some slight issues with jealousy when it comes to Aunt Gi Gi's attention, so I'm trying to still give her loves when I can.

Overall things are going well, and hopefully I can keep that up. I have a sweet little girl, who I pretty much can't stop staring at...sometimes I think she is giving me a look that says "seriously? you still just looking at me...." but I love it.