Wasting away again in Margaritaville...

She was my friend, my co worker, my babysitter, my confidant, my replacement mom...and now she's gone. Though my mind was prepared, my heart still hurts.

She was the Statler to my Waldorf.


I'll miss my Vikki.

 

As I remember Vikki, I will think of the last time I saw her and she simply asked, "Is there anything you want me to tell your mom?" (I held back the tears)

So I travel back (uh) down that road (road) Will she come back? (Uh) No one knows

I realized, in going thru my past posts, that I never blogged about our last weekend together before Emily left.
So let's get in our time machines and head back to last March....

I'm not quite sure what event came first in the planning of the weekend, but somehow we ended up at a Nelly concert on a friday night

and walking/running a 5k that saturday morning

Smartest idea? no. But it was good for pictures, and stories, so of course we did it.

So yes, I ventured into the world of the "runner", and I can honestly say...it sucks. Sorry folks, I am not a believer. I did not get a runners high, nor did I feel super awesome about myself afterwards. I just felt tired, and sore, and confident that it probably won't happen again.

Bye Bye Emily...

But the Nelly concert...well that was a different story. That was awesome!

 The opening acts were Cali Swag District, who much to our dismay still didn't actually teach us how to dougie, and 3Oh!3 with one guy in the band looking like Piz from Veronica Mars (adorable).

In between acts they had a DJ spinning the jams on the 1's and 2's which was fun to dance to. Nelly was actually really good live, and sang all his songs that I just love. and to my surprise clothes didn't actually come off when he sang "hot in herre"...thought for sure some of the trampy tramps around us would use that song as an excuse to get pretty freaky. phew.
He did have a few girls come on stage during one of his songs to have a "walk off", and give their best diva walks...yes, it was as awkward and embarrassing to watch as it sounds!

Can someone tell me what this guy was doing at a nelly concert?

It was such a random weekend, so perfect for our last weekend together as a crew.

Yeah you got me begging begging baby please don't go...

When I move I plan on living in an apartment.

1) we don't need much space, as it's just me and Q

2) I hate yard work. I find the idea of a yard, playground, and pool that I don't personally have to take care of, but can enjoy at will, very very exciting.

So in planning my move, I realized that my entertainment center and my sectional couch, both large in size, would not fit into an apartment living space. So one had to go. I still had the gold couches that had been around since the 60's, so it made since to sell the couch.  I put my couch up on craigslist and sold it in 2 days.

But apparently I should have explained this to Q before the buyers came to pick up the couch, because she reacted strongly....

Massive Massive Tears

From what I could tell she was upset for 2 reasons:

1) She assumed, that without a couch, we could no longer watch tv...I understand how no tv could be upsetting. 

2) She is very big on being nice, and often yells at the villains on shows for "taking stuff that isn't there's". I think she believed that these people were taking mommy's couch and being mean....I find it sweet that she was trying to protect our stuff. 

She watched from the window as the buyers packed the couch away, crying and yelling, and wanting the couch back. 

(you can hear her say "mean" when I asked her what's wrong...)

After the space was cleaned, vaccummed, and ready to go Emily and I brought in the gold couches

And all was okay in Qiana's world. 

I've become so numb I can't feel you there...

I'm heartless, or perhaps just numb inside. I feel bad that I have no tears to share for you and your pain. I have used them all up. I feel selfish. I am sorry that I brush over your pain or troubles. but I can't be serious. I can't cry. I want to help, I want to reach out. I want to lend a shoulder. but I can't. I'm not strong enough. I can't think of your pain. I can't think about life without you. I can't lose again.

But I can laugh. I can distract. I can deal with the day to day. I can do your work. I can make sure that your favorite songs are playing on my iphone while we drive to the doctor's. I can make fun of the ridiculousness of life.That's what I can do.
That's all I can do.

I like to move it move it...

Q is a dancer.

 If nothing else, this solidifies the fact that I have not failed her as a mother.

We often have dance parties at home, and tonight she was really gettin into it.

Here are two of her favorite songs to dance to. 

 And just cause I think this is cute. 

Is it worth it? Let me work it.

I found this fur vest at children's place for $4. Q couldn't stop smiling when I put it on her today. Best sale purchase ever.

Welcome back, to that same old place that you laughed about...

Yep, I am once again a public blog. 

The motivation for privatizing my blog was outweighed by the annoyance it gave me, my readers, and those wanting to read it. 

So we are streaming public again...