Monday, June 16, 2008

and I miss you like crazy....

I still miss her like crazy and it still doesn't seem real... I wonder when reality will finally hit....

Kim and I spent some time this weekend going through all my mom's closet of paperwork....OH MY GOSH! this woman....kept everything.
seriously.
Did you know she bought new toothpaste from safeway in november of 97'? yeah neither did I until I saw the receipt in her papers....I wonder what scenario she thought would come up where she would have to prove that she paid for said toothpaste in 97'...who knows.
Among many other unnecessary items she also had hospital bills and invoices from Alexandria Hospital....FROM WHEN MY BROTHER JARED WAS BORN....IN 1974!! crazy right? Kim and I had quite a time sifting through mounds of papers and photos trying to figure out if we needed to save any of it. We found some gems in the photo department that gave us quite a laugh, but most of the stuff just got tossed into the "burn pile".
We did find some manila envelopes with each of our names on it, which definitely peaked our interest. I opened mine and and was transported back to june of 94' when my mother and I had what is now known as the "graduation day disaster of 94"....one of our only fights...but it was a doozy. After the fight, and the subsequent canceling of my senior trip to Hawaii to check out my future school, I had written my mother a letter explaining why I was upset that day and my feelings on the situation....she then responded in a letter of her own. As I opened my folder I saw not only the letter I had written her, but a photocopy of her response...I couldn't believe it. I looked through my sibling's folders hoping to find something juicy as well that she had held on to, it's not like I'm the only one who had had encounters with my mom in the past so surely there would be other things she had saved as well.....but no....all I found in their folders were old w-2's from the 90's...useless. I'm not quite sure why she was holding on to my letters, I am trying to convince myself that she had filed it back in 94' and had just forgotten about it, but who knows....I guess it just added a little something extra to our trip down memory lane.

oh mom!

9 comments:

lindsay>boo said...

I still miss your mom too. It just feels like she's on a trip right now more than anything.

I love all the stuff you've been finding. Can't wait to see some of the gems.

melanie said...

I'm pretty positive my kids will say the same thing about me one day. Mostly because I say it about myself when I find random junk that I've hung on too. And dare I say receipts are at the top of the list?

I can only imagine how much you miss her... Thinking of you.

Brianne said...

I'm thinking of you!! Sorting through things has got to be hard yet exciting at the same time. I'm sure your coming across things that make you cry, laugh, or even do both at the same time.

The reality may not set in for a long time. It took a little over a year for me after my dad died. It was when I had Jayni that it started to really feel real.

Hang in there...it will get better day by day with the occasional set back!!

Kimmy said...

Let's not forget about the ultra-dramatic pictures from graduation where she couldn't even force a smile. I love it!

Hang in there. Love ya!

Piper said...

How bittersweet. Love you.

amberandlandon said...

Hey Angie. I heard about your mom and I just wanted to send my love. I loved your poem.

Anonymous said...

Angie I am really sorry. YOu know I believe you are a very strong person, you were there for me in some of my toughest times when I first came to this country and I believe you'll pull through these sad moments too, we are here for you.
Lani

Brianne said...

Sorry this is a little late, but HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!

Hope it's been a good one.

Colleen said...

I am sure going through all that stuff is so sweet and so painful at the same time. I am glad you have your sis to do it with you!